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The Ugly (1997)

No Trailer Available

Americans need to start embracing more foreign films because the situation is getting a little ridiculous. Yeah, every year around Oscar season people go to see Slumdog Millionaire but for the rest of the year they are neglected. It really is a shame because rather than going to see some new J-Horror remake or an Amityville Horror rip-off (it sucked the first time around) we could be going to see films like The Ugly.

As a healthy change of pace the story revolves around the story of the serial killer, Simon Cartwright (Paolo Rotondo). He is being interviewed by Dr. Karen Schumaker (Rebecca Hobbs) who is there to both decide if he is fit to stand trail and find out what goes on inside the head of Simon. Karen quickly regrets this once Simon builds up a little bit of trust to get his cuffs off and lunges across the table at her. While she is being choked on the ground for her rookie mistake, she see The Uglies who are the haunting ghosts of Simon's victim who force him to kill.

Possibly the most unique thing about this film is that it plays like a Bio-Pic Horror. I have been watching horror movies since I was a kid and I have never come across something like that. We start off with Simon's early life with an emotionally and physically abusive mother, absent father, and tormenting peers. All the right ingredients in for crazy stew. Now the important thing to know is that it isn't just the fact that The Ugly plays as a Bio-Pic, but that it does it with such poise.

One of the most important flashback scenes shows Simon having his face scraped on concrete as a child. He spends the rest of his childhood with a bandage over half his face and even though it is healed later in his life, whenever he sees his reflection he is still grotesque. This then leads to Simon being mocked even more by his peers and let's the audience have a more intimate relationship with the anti-hero.

I know I've said before that I'm more of a fan of simplicity, but there are exceptions. The more you let the audience use their imagination the better the result, that is unless you can deliver with a solid back story that displays itself in just the right way. The entire film devotes itself to the life of Simon so it has a solid ground to stand on. We learn to feel for Simon throughout the film; feeling anxiety when someone is laughing. As the audience, we know that they're not laughing at Simon but with some genius editing we find ourselves wanting Simon to break out the razor and go to town.

The audience becomes more sympathetic when Simon finally reveals his motivation for killing. His first few murders were brought on with years of building anger and incredible jealousy, but as they grow more complex, Simon seems to be a victim in himself. I'd go on but I'd rather but it would really make it less powerful when and if you see it.

Don't worry though, it isn't without its fair share of issues. For one, the guards at the asylum are really ridiculous. The whole point of their characters is to be disgusting people but you'd think they would have some sort of uniform or shampoo or something. Ii take that in good grace though, becuase the guards do give us a great sense of childhood torment that feeds Simon's rage. The acting isn't always the most captivating thing in the world, but hey, its a horror movie. .

For anyone that tells you that they don't make good horror films anymore, you should school them on this little bit of knowledge. Horror films, aside from porn, are typically the cheapest movies to make and almost always generate a profit. Knowing this, production companies and independent directors bust out second rate horror movies like someone will pass a law that makes affiliation with one of those piles of crap punishable by forcing those convicted to actually watch their films. Sorry about that.

My point is basically that even though you have to search through the grit, there are some great horror films that come out. Whether they're straight to DVD, even though One Missed Call can make it to theaters, or they just don't make it to America, they're out there and worth searching for.

Final Grade: B+


DVD

Missing A Week

Hey Guys,

Sorry to say that I won't be posting this week. I have a possible internship for film reviews going on on top of school work so I'm really swamped. I'll do two next week to make up for it. Wish me luck.

Play Misty For Me (1971)

Trailer

Clint Eastwood at the age of 78 directed, and starred in the culturally phenomenal film Gran Torino. Eastwood has achieved high regard as both an actor and director throughout his long career in the film industry along with being a complete and utter badass. In an effort to keep Eastwood on my good side, to prevent him from pummeling me to the ground in the extremely off chance I ever meet him, here is his second major directed films.

Play Misty For Me tells the story of Dave, a radio dj who hosts a show and has been receiving phone calls from a mysterious women asking him to. "play misty for me." Dave later drives to the bar, because who really cares about drunk driving. At the bar he talks to Frank (Don Siegel) the bar tender before he picks up a woman named Evelyn (Jessica Walter) who reveals herself to Dave as the mysterious caller and they both agree that they don't want a serious relationship but there is no reason not to have some no strings attached sex. I mean, when someone says no strings attached it usually works out, right? No... Just no.

Dave was worried way too much about his womanizing techniques to notice the fact that Evelyn is batshit crazy and despite the fact that she is very clearly stalking him, Dave drops whatever he is doing to and replaces it with her. Well her stalking seems to get worse and worse; starting with showing up unexpected with groceries and progressing to stabbing the maid. At this point Dave realizes that he and his love interest Tobie (Donna Mills) are in danger.

Eastwood uses some very Hitchcock-esque techniques in this film to build suspense and pulls them off very well. The way he builds characters and subtlety builds the idea that they are in danger is very reminiscent of Psycho and some of Hitchcock's more horror related work. This strategy of character development pays off big because it allows the audience to have a relationship with Dave and makes it all that more terrifying when he or the ones he loves are threatened.

The slow pace also makes the suspense of the film more powerful and the events of the film more believable. Few movies today are just used to build to their finales the way this film does. The downside to this is that less attentive viewers won't be entertained but the upside is that not everyone cares what they think because these are just dense people who are more amused with explosions and shiny things than a well developed story.

It would be hard to swallow the thought of Dave just letting Evelyn into his life if she just showed up and stabbed the maid. You need the build of her getting groceries, calling him at the bar from in front of the bar, showing up late at night, and following him around before you can see why he would put up with her showing up hysterically the way he does or not having her committed which should have been his first course of action after her fake suicide attempted.

FINAL GRADE: B+

DVD

Friday the 13th (2009)

Well I took the first chance I had to put my foot in my mouth and ran with it. Nice visual right? Well anyway I was pretty wrong about this one which will surely stop me from any more preemptive bashings. Now let me clear up right away that Friday the 13th (2009) is by no means a good movie. It was sub par at best but that is actually much more than I had expected.

We start off with a flashback to the events portrayed in the original Friday the 13th that pretty much sums up what happened to Mrs. Voorhees decently quick and clean; something I didn't expect done with such efficiency and have to give credit to. We then jump ahead to five, as good as dead, teens that are looking for some pot growing in the woods and decide to camp out. Well turns out they're right near Camp Crystal Lake and Jason, who apparently saw his mother murdered is living there and doesn't appreciate company.

After Jason is all finished with his first batch of teens, another quickly show up at a house across the lake form the camp. They are also accompanied by Clay (Jared Padaleeki) who has come to Crystal Lake to look for his sister Whitney (Amanda Righetti) who was a part of the first five teens Jason attacked. Well the towns people don't think there's much merit to a search because "She ain't missing, she's dead." This come from the extremely credible source of Old Lady (Rosemary Knower).

Well Clay doesn't respond well to unnecessarily non-specific warnings and treks on into the woods. He stumble onto the lake house that all the teen stereotypes are partying. We have the rich douche-bag in Trent (Travis Van Winkle), the nice girl in Jenna (Danielle Panabaker), the whore in Bree (Julianna Guill), the generic horror movie couple in Nolan and Chelsea (Ryan Hansen and Willa Ford), and of course the two stoners in Chewie and Lawrence (Aaron Yoo and Arlen Escarpeta). Despite the fact that the characters are stereotypes, they serve as a redeeming factor to the film. Unlike most modern remakes, I found most of these characters to serve their purpose.

I felt like Clay had a good reason to be there, Trent pissed me off, and Chewie and Lawrence were different then most movie pot-heads and just seemed like fun people. The other character aren't too awesome but I really wasn't expecting anything to effect me aside form the movie making me sick.

As far as putting my foot my mouth goes, I was wrong on three of four counts. I only got relationship troubles and that is really nothing to be too proud of because it wasn't as much of a focus as I thought it would be. Despite the fact that I was totally wrong with predicting issues, there were issues none the less.

Probably the biggest issue I had was that the death scenes were mostly ripped off other slashers. This was all well and good being that mos things have been done before so you're going to get some similar stuff but there were some pretty shameless ones. Possibly the most shameless is the lake death of Nolan and Chelsea. Nolan is driving a boat and gets hit with an arrow causing him to run into Chelsea. She doesn't die from this but regardless it brought to mind the opening of Sleepaway Camp.

I can understand taking idea from other slashers but to take them from a low grade flick like Sleepaway Camp just seems lazy. Not to take away from the fact that Sleepaway Camp is awesome in its own ways, but the first three Friday the 13th films are of a much higher caliber and deserve more respect than that.

That seems to be the biggest issue with modern horror remakes. They don't pay proper respects to their predecessors. I would much prefer a film to be somewhat similar to another film than to be a remake. The problem with that idea is that it gives us movies like Disturbia which shamelessly ripped off Rear Window. The slasher sub-genre needs inovation liike that of Tobe Hooper, Bob Clack, and John Carpenter.

FINAL GRADE: C-

Friday the 13th Franchise-Review

There's a lot you can say about the Friday the 13th Franchise. With ten "original" installments, a crossover and an upcoming remake it really seems that Jason won't die. With more installments than Baldwins you have to sort the good form the bad... like the Baldwins.

Here are some signs that a horror franchise is going under seen in Friday the 13th.

!) Mass sequels
2) Dramatic change in scenery (Part VIII, X)
3) Introduction of new powers to old characters (Part IV, VI)
4) Change of genre (Slasher to Zombie, Superpowers, Demons, Sci-Fi) (Part VI, VII, IX, X)
5) Copycats (Part V)

Final Breakdowns (Worst-Best)


A New Beginning - Probably the worst Friday the 13th in that it lacks the innovation of the first three films by being the same style; what makes the later films more bearable is how ridiculous and funny they are. Another thing it lacks is a Voorhees. You can't call a film Friday the 13th unless you have someone related to Jason or Mrs. Voorhees; its just not right.

FINAL GRADE: F

Part VII: The New Blood - Carrie Vs. Jason doesn't seem like a good movie and it wasn't. A traumatized girl with telekinetic abilities and a troubled family history shows up at Crystal Lake and her and Jason have a showdown. Its hard to criticize much more about it because that just shadows everything else that could be good or bad about this movie.

FINAL GRADE: F

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday - On top of being a lie, our title character barely shows up. He is replaced with a "demon" passed around like mono. When he finally does show up we get one kill and some really terrible make up effects that have his hockey mask embedded into his face. The whole "killer is a demon" is really something I recommend that slashers try and avoid because, like I said in my remake predictions, over explanations just make the killer seem less scary. When its just some guy with a moderate reason its more relatable to people we know. Not everyone knows someone who has a haunted past and whatever other contributing factors they decide to throw in.

FINAL GRADE: F

Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan - Crystal Lake was getting old after six movies taking place their and one being in a very similar location so why not just toss Jason into Manhattan. There are way too many reasons not to do this. Its really hard to even come close to taking this one seriously as a horror, comedy, or anything else. Nothing really makes sense, Jason seems to have a goal which is just weird, and there isn't a single likable character in the entire film. Oh yeah, and Jason is always wet. But its because I don't take this seriously in any way that I find it more tolerable than the ones listed before this.

FINAL GRADE: F

Jason X - It takes place in space. I feel like this one came about at a meeting where the producers wanted to somehow find a way to put Jason in a more unfitting environment than New York City. I'd imagine that Africa and The Alps were suggested but ultimately set aside for the most insane setting of all, space. Its surprising how many horror movies do this; Leprechaun and Hellraiser are just two that come to mind. I guess the idea is too appeal to sci-fi and horror nerds but all it does is give everyone something to laugh at. That in mind, I think Jason X is more enjoyable than most of the films in this series, but falls short because it just isn't a true Friday the 13th. As far as being a movie goes, this is probably the worst movie of the series... but come on, its in space!

FINAL GRADE: D

The Final Chapter - Calling part nine "The Final Friday" is bad enough, but to call part four of a ten part series is just wrong. We have a follow up to this movie a year later so it's very obvious that this was not planned to be what it claims to be. It also is where the whole Jason thing starts to go a little crazy. At this point he's pretty much Michael Myers in the woods. The Friday the 13th movies were always similar to Halloween but had their differences. This time around Jason is pretty much a carbon copy of Michael in his slow moving and increased strength. Even Corey Feldman couldn't save this one.

FINAL GRADE: C-

Part VI: Jason Lives - After upsetting everyone with a copycat killer in A New Beginning Paramount must have realized the error of their ways and brought back our old buddy Jason. Its not Jason like it was before though; its zombie Jason. Now he has an explanation for his increased strength and slow moving; very sneaky. The reason this one comes so high on the list is because of the style goes from horror to comedy and it is actually quite funny. Aside from that it does have much to offer but neither do any of the other movies I've listed so far.

FINAL GRADE: C

Part III: 3D - As much of a joke the 3D is this is the last installment that's worth watching as a serious movie. At this point it wasn't too crazy that Jason was still alive after part two and it takes place just a day after. The thing I like most about this part was supposed to make the series a trilogy. For those of you who think a trilogy is a series with three installments; stop it! A trilogy is a series with three installments that can play through as one consecutive story (Star Wars, The Bourne Trilogy, etc.). The end of this is very similar to the end of part one and, unlike part two it gives Jason a seemingly permanent death. As much of a novelty it is, the entire series really should have never moved passed this point. We would have left it off respectable and proper as opposed to the whore of a franchise it is now.

FINAL GRADE: B+

Part II - Even better than part three, part two follows up the events of part one by killing off our final girl in the very beginning and having a new camp in the area open. This one is particularly better than all of the other films because it introduces Jason as a crazy hick in the woods who doesn't want people anywhere near Crystal Lake. It is really believable and the only real issue the movie has is the bag Jason wears over his head but that can slide on account of how well done everything else is. From the lighting to the music this is probably one of the best sequels in horror. It falls only mildly short of the original and that is impressive.

FINAL GRADE: B+

Part I - One of the greatest slasher of all time and notably one of the few with a female killer. This is often overlooked by people who assume that Jason is the killer but the adorable Mrs. Voorhees is the twisted slasher in this one. For any film to have ten sequels, a crossover and a remake it has to be above par. With similar uses of lighting and music in part two, with the only difference being the first time they were used, Friday the 13th has horrified audiences for almost thirty years. The remake has a possibility of not being awful, but there is no doubt in my mind that it will in no way come close to the prestige of the original.

FINAL GRADE: A-

Series Overall - Despite the fact that the series has made an incredible amount of money and that Jason is one the most well known characters in pop culture, the series is a disappointment. All the innovation seems to be discarded when most people think of the series. To the average person, Friday the 13th is just about naked teens getting slaughtered. It started off with that at face value but goes much deeper. If this had remained a trilogy rather than becoming an overdone series we would have much higher standards for horror films.

FINAL GRADE: C-

Friday the 13th (2009) [Predictions]

Trailer

I'm being 100% honest in saying that I have read NOTHING on this movie and have only seen the trailer. I plan on seeing it this Saturday but will be unable to post about it so here are some of my predictions for this inevitably terrible remake.


!) Unnecessary Details of Origin. I really don't care why they do it. As Randy form Scream put it "Motives are irrelevant." I don't need some intimate relationship with Jason Voorhees. I don't need to think that Leatherface has skin cancer or that Michael Myers was emotionally disturbed as a child. Personally I think they were both more frightening knowing less about them.

2) Relationship Troubles. Our final girl character will be in some sort of a relationship. Horror films as of late seem to try and pull at our heart strings by having a couple fight and then one of them dies, laying terrible guilt on the survivor. Directors need to stop focusing on love interests. If it's done right, like in The Strangers where the two are the only characters, then the audience can get attached but not when its Friday the 13th. There are too many doomed teens for me to care about anyone in particular.

3) Abuse of Gore. I get that this is something that the genre has a lot of roots in but I'm a large supporter of alluding to gore rather than showing it. Great slashers like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween have no gore and these are two of the greatest slashers of all time.

4) Green Tint. If you watch most of the slasher remakes they all seem to have it. It's very pale and is used to bring down the mood and make ti feel macabre. In reality it's a great technique for a film maker but is very played out. I want something new and impressive.

I could say a lot more but I'm gonna save it for either Sunday or Monday when I finally get the chance to write my actual review. Remember, everything I said here can be completely wrong and Friday the 13th (2009) can wind up being the best thing to happen to horror since a painted William Shatner mask.